You made eat vitamins until I threw up
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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