better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
