just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
