All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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