it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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