The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
