Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
