You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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