Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
