After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
