woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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