ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
