Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
