Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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