Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
