OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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