i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
