tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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