This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
