You're so nebulous sometimes
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
as a side note pls kill me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
