He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
