Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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