she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
