I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
