Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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