When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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