I can tuck mytits in my pants
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize