btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
