Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
