And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
His nipple licking is glorious
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