I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
