So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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