Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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