i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize