Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
