I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
