she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
