I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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