Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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