Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
either way he was missing a nipple.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
