it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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