How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
pray to the hookup gods
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
