That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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