I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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