His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it because I queefed?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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