And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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