There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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