What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize