This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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