The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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