Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
