Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
