Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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