Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
His nipple licking is glorious
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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