Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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