we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
