Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
