Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
