someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
