I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
