im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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