Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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