covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
