I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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