your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
