By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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