If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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