Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
